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I've described my faith life as like one of those funnel gadgets, being raised in the extremely narrow end of fundamentalism, then moving into the gradually widening scope of the evangelical, through orthodox Reformed theology, and now probably more progressive. My journey is bringing me to become more human, more incarnated and more a citizen of the Kindom of God in the world God loves.

Monday, August 17, 2020

From Order to Disorder (a la Richard Rohr) 8/16/20 Pentecost 11A

 

Rev. Dr. Rebecca L. Kiser
FROM ORDER TO DISORDER ( a la Richard Rohr)
8/16/20    Pentecost 11 A

Our texts this morning have to do with two people who have deep encounters with their own mortality and human suffering, and yet their trust in God carries them to a deeper place of relationship and trust.

The first text is about that cosseted and beloved youngest son named Joseph, who in our text last week was taken from the bosom and the security of that family where he was favored and given gifts, and then seized by his envious siblings and almost killed - but instead was sold as a slave to merchants in a caravan headed to Egypt.  Last week we imagined what it must’ve been like for Joseph to unexpectedly have his safe, normal world shattered, and find himself in a threatening and unknown place.  The Bible gives us no glimpse into what kind of despair he may have fallen into, what kind of anguish and betrayal he felt; and we compared it with the disorientation and crisis we felt, waking up in a different world of Covid-19.  The passage this morning about Joseph's revelation of who he is to his brothers could have been one of anger and revenge - we are almost shocked that instead he offers welcome, and forgiveness with tears - and surprisingly is able to say that though they meant it for evil, it was God who sent him before them in Egypt to prepare the way for  saving the whole tribe.  How did he get to this deep level of trust in God?

I think we can assume that Joseph’s initial reactions to his brother’s betrayal and slavery in Egypt were more along the lines of “Why me, God?” and anger and even despair of faith and life. He was still a young man, and his reactions were probably what ours would be. That he comes out in such a faithful and believing place years later tells us that he did some wrestling with God in the tradition of his father whose name was changed to “Strives with God,” Isra-El.  He’s come out at a very deep, deep place, a very mature place.  One doesn’t get to this level of acceptance by trite phrases and pretending, nor by denying the pain - one only comes out here after great struggles, honest prayer; bringing all one feels to God.  Evidently Joseph found a deep well of faith - a deep trust that God cared and heard his cries. 

The Canaanite woman, from our Matthew text, is also facing a difficult thing and crying out to Jesus. No parent wants to face what she did - the suffering of her child, especially when she can do absolutely nothing about it. This kind of thing wrings a parents’ heart, a mother’s heart, when some part of us that is so beloved is beyond our help. The Scripture says her daughter was possessed by a demon, which we don’t quite understand, but we DO know that the woman feels so helpless before her daughter’s suffering that she comes to this Jewish healer to cry out, cry out, cry out for help.   That she is Canaanite, and therefore a Gentile, doesn’t deter her - her distress about her daughter sends her calling out to Jesus, AND THEN SENDS HER TO HER KNEES BEFORE HIM.

This text has always kind of bothered me… Jesus’ disciples want to send her away, and even Jesus seems to be rude to her.  I’ve not known how to take his words that seem to point out the cultural divide between Jews and Canaanites. I'm more comfortable with the story of Jesus and the woman at the well, who’s a Samaritan - another cultural divide - but Jesus asks her to draw water for him and talks with her.  In this encounter with the Canaanite mother, however, Jesus is rather confrontive - and yet, she comes back at him!  Sometimes I think I can hear Jesus’ words in a way similar to the way a boyfriend’s dad told me gruffly, “Shut the door, were you raised in a barn?” My boyfriend said that meant he liked me.  What I DO see is that she persists -  She challenges Jesus with his own words. “I can’t give the children’s food to dogs,” he says; she quips, “Even the dogs get crumbs that fall from the table.” And then Jesus acknowledges her deep faith - and her daughter is healed.

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            I'm going to come at this from a different place for a minute - this week we tallied the 62 surveys that you all have returned (and will get the summaries and observations out pretty soon).  Some things won’t be a surprise, like that over half of our congregation are over 70.  If we add in those in their 60s we get close to ⅔; add in those in their 50s and we get over ¾.  Looking at this statistic, it's probably safe to assume that many of us have experienced life-shattering events like Joseph and this Canaanite mom.  We’ve done our own wrestling with fears and doubts, we’ve felt hopeless and perhaps despairing of life. We’ve come face to face with our own mortality.  The covid-19 crisis is probably not the first time we’ve feared death, although the national and global aspects of this pandemic are new and also fearful.  We’ve faced cancer and other diseases, we’ve felt helpless about a beloved child’s situation, we’ve been through sudden changes and loss. Knowing somewhat about people, I might guess that we haven’t talked out loud about these deep and scary feelings with other people, but kept them private. 

Yet it's true that we’ve had times when our own anguish has been cried out to God, when we’ve wrestled with the “Why me?” question, when our faith and trust in God has been challenged by our loss, our anger, or perhaps feelings of betrayal.  Maybe we’ve had to quit going to church for a while; maybe we’ve not been able to pray the way we had before, and we’ve just not prayed.   

            I hope, friends, that we HAVE been bold to cry out our pain and fears to God, like that Canaanite woman did.  I hope that we have had the courage to be like our faith ancestors Jacob, who wrestled with God - and earned the name Isra-el, “Strives with God.”  We can tell that Joseph followed in his father’s path, because we can see its results in the words of faith and trust that he speaks in today’s texts.  People don’t get to an authentic trust like that without struggle.  Even our own Jesus wrestled in the garden before he was arrested, and the Scripture says he even sweat drops of blood - I can’t imagine what that would be like.  He didn’t try to ignore or deny the struggle - he endured it, spoke it, wrestled with it.  And finally Jesus found that place of submission where he could say, “Not my will but yours be done.”  And to be able to say later, “Into your hands I commit my spirit.”  That’s a deep and mature faith.

            We don’t get to that level of faith by denying our pain; we don’t find that level of trust by saying  a trite, “Just praise the Lord.”  We don’t gain that place of resting in God by repeating phrases like ‘I guess it's God’s will,’ or ‘God needed another angel,’ or ‘every cloud has a silver lining.’  We only get there through bringing to God the cries of our heart, the anguish of our spirit, the despair of our gut, the pain of our confusion and loss.  Only this honesty before God in prayer is the path of insight and deepening faith.  Only this trusting of God with our harshest feelings, trusting that God can take it and that God won’t abandon us - only this authentic crying out, like the Canaanite woman, only this level of encounter with the source of life and our creator leads to the ability to say with Joseph that God’s hand was in this; and leads to the place where Jesus could say, Into your hands I commit my spirit.      

So we’ve come to a very deep place following these texts today.  We’ve talked out loud about some very private things.  We’ve touched on some scary thoughts and feelings that come from our deepest places inside, from when we’ve had to face those scary moments of helplessness, lack of control, imminent danger of loss of life. I remember the fear and confusion and denial when I heard the “cancer” word...and I certainly wrestled with God about it.  This hospitalization the other week was another reminder of my mortality - when  I read my discharge papers,  it hit me that things could have gone really bad really quickly, and I could have died.  Suddenly, no warning, no time to prepare.  I think I’m still processing that - it’s still new.          

Covid continues to be a reminder of mortal issues, too - reading the stories of people’s suffering and struggle to breathe, reading the heart-rending accounts of people dying without their families - and families unable to be with their own beloved ones.  Those fears linger in the back of our minds, especially if we don’t talk about them.

            I hope, my friends, that we are bringing these kinds of cries to God, and not glossing over them with trite sayings and pretended assurances.  This time is an opportunity for us to pray in depth, and wrestle with our creator about ultimate issues, cry out our fears; and find beneath our feet the rock of our salvation, find the depth and solidity of faith, the assurance of trust in God’s care and love.  When we are moved by the stories we read, I hope we are sharing that with God.  When we cough and are suddenly afraid we’ve caught the virus, I hope we’re taking all that fear to God. 

            God loves us, God cares for us, God knows our standing up and our sitting down, our going out and coming in (Ps 139), the words that are on our tongue before we say them.  God knows the number of hairs on our heads and the number of stars in the universe. God even came to our suffering world in Jesus, to show us the vision of living in God’s kingdom and offer us restoration.  We are not alone, and being in God’s hands is the safest place to be ever.  Joseph remembered that and held onto it.  The unnamed Canaanite mom reached out for it.  We can, too.  AMEN.

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