Blind Man Stood By the Road and he Cried 10/28/18 Pentecost 23B

Rev. Dr. Rebecca L. Kiser

Blind Man Stood By the Road and He Cried…. 

Oct 28, 2018         Pentecost 23-B       Mark 10:46-52

I like that commercial for an air freshener product that uses the words “nose blind” - like, this kid doesn’t smell his room anymore - but its full of old gym socks that almost make his mom pass out - he’s gone nose blind to the odor….There’s another version of a guy with a car he’s always carting his wet dog around in - his guests are overwhelmed by the odor.  But he was ‘nose-blind’ to it.  Its a clever use of the concept of ‘blindness’ to say that we get used to the smells around us.   And we do - we get used to behavior around us, too, or words used around us, or accepted attitudes around us.  In metaphorical usage, we are blind to them.

We use the concept of literal blindness to mean more than just literal blindness - we use it as a metaphor for things we can’t understand or comprehend - we can’t “see” them.  We don’t see the signs of our child’s addiction, for example - or we don’t see the connection of what we notice with drug use.  We don’t “see” the humor in certain jokes that we don’t have the context to “get.”  I hate explaining jokes to people - takes the fun out of them.  We don’t see that there are other layers going on behind the words people are using to explain their behavior - we’re taking it at face value, and not picking up the nuances.  We’re “blind” to it, in other words.  Other people can “see” it, or “get” it, or “hear” what’s going on, but others can’t.  We become used to cat calls at women, or sexual innuendos about women.  We become used to racial slights about “those people.”  We don’t hear them anymore as what they are; ear-blind perhaps? We take it for granted that a rich person in the church (not this one) verbally attacks people, and see it as just his normal behavior.  We become so accustomed to the privileges of being white in this country that we can’t see what white privilege even means. 

Until our eyes are opened or our ears unstopped by compassion for the other.

This man by the side of the road calling out to Jesus - he is physically blind, and the story is one of his healing.  It can work on us on many levels, like the word “blind.”  Let’s look at the literal story line for a moment.  When this blind man hears that Jesus the miracle-worker is coming by, he calls out and calls out, and Jesus stops. Its interesting that he calls for Jesus to have mercy on him. Then Jesus asks him an interesting question - “What do you want me to do for you?”  I wondered about this question - it seemed pretty obvious to me what the man wanted - to be healed of his blindness, duh!  Why did Jesus make him say it out loud before healing him?

After my year of chaplain training, it came to me that, “Jesus must have had CPE!” We’re taught, as a part of learning to really listening to the other person, not to let our own assumptions get in the way.  Like my take on what they want and need is good enough without hearing their take - I mean it IS their need and want, right?  I usually ask now if a person would LIKE me to pray  with them, and not just jump in with my religious language.  Some people do say, “No.”  Or “you can pray for me but not here and now.”  I’ve heard both of these, plus other responses.  The next question, if they say “Yes,” is to ask “What would you like me to pray for?”  I mean, its probably that they get better or that their family does okay, but again, its part of listening to not assume.  Once in a while the person says, “whatever God tells you to say” (that was a preacher); often, though, it opens up a path for what’s really worrying them. 

One time a woman said to me, “who’s going to do the barn chores with my broken leg? What’s going to happen to my animals? When I come out of this procedure, I’m going to have so much to do I’m just so panicked about it all already.” I wouldn’t have guessed that.  Another person, knowing she was the caretaker for her mother as well as some of her own grandchildren, knew that if she had ongoing heart problems, it was gonna really upset the delicate balance that they were keeping in their family, keeping mom at home, watching grandbabies. Things might have to really shuffle around. I wouldn’t have guessed that, either.  For both of these people, these concerns were weighing on them, even in their own health crisis.

A man told me, “my wife is having a really hard time with this - pray for her.” An elderly woman said, “Pray then I’ll go home soon.” I got a strong hunch that she might not be talking about the nursing home that sent her over.  So I asked her, “the way you said that, I’m wondering if you mean the nursing home…” She said, “I don’t mean the nursing home. I mean heaven.”  So I prayed for her being ready for her eternal home.  

One time I spoke with a person from a different denomination than I was, and she said I could pray for her as long as I didn’t say things like, “no matter what happens,” or to help her “deal with the outcome.”   She asked me to pray positively for her healing, and let no negativity or doubt in my words.  “Can’t let any of that in,” she said, “you have to keep focused on Jesus’ healing.”  That’s not really my belief system, so I was glad I asked what she wanted me to pray for.

So Jesus asks this man, and taking the story to be about any of us, asks us - “What do you want me to do for you?”   I mean, this man may have assumed he was blind for life, and was concerned for a daughter or son that he couldn’t provide for.  He may have wanted a place to live, or for his family to be more compassionate.  So Jesus doesn’t assume.  Jesus also knows that its good for us to be clear on what we want - its good for us to sort through our feelings and ‘see’ what it is we are wanting from God.  And own it.  This man asks, “Teacher, that I may see again.”  And Jesus makes it so. 

I have trouble linking faith with literal healing, like some denominations do.  I mean, sometimes there are physical  healings that amaze the medical professionals - mostly, though, we have to come to grips with our bodies and their health - or lack of.  Many people pray for their loved one to recover from desperate injuries or disease, and their loved one dies.  Sometimes someone beats the odds, but usually they don’t. And we all will die at some point despite prayers for life.  So mostly I DO pray as that one woman asked me not to - I pray that the person will rest in God’s care, feel God’s presence, be comforted and strengthened by God’s Spirit.  Sometimes, my supervisor says, the ultimate healing can only be done in heaven.  And there is certainly a difference between healing and cure - healing can be on many levels - relationships healed, peace made with the condition, fighting and denial finally ending so goodbyes can be said.  

Its good for us to figure out just where our blindness is…., so we need to consider carefully what we are asking God to do for us. It may be that our blindness is that we can’t accept what is inevitable, and we are, if not in denial, then in active avoidance.  Just what IS our situation?   This can be personal, familial, church related, employment related.  It may be that our eyes need to see and accept the reality of a current situation, or we seek to understand how this person so different from us experiences the world.

For a crass example, I’m struggling with turning 65 at my next birthday - all the Medicare information being thrown at my by mail and online, its like salt in the wound.  I know I have to face the reality that I am no longer 35, no longer with the same physical resilience, no longer the same degree of attractiveness or hire-ability.  Yes, there are other factors like accumulated wisdom and experience, but despite how my mind imagines myself to still be 35, no amount of praying will make it so.  Its reality, whether I see it or not.

Another crass example might be my struggle with weight loss - I can pray and pray for it, because I know I would be better off health-wise at a lower weight.  But have I “seen” the truth that this is a journey of breaking bad habits of a lifetime and truly making new choices?  Really, this is in my hands, for better or for worse, and part of my blindness is in hoping Jesus can somehow magically make it so.  Like any addict, I struggle to accept the real and difficult responsibility I have for the needed changes - which includes emotional healing as well as just better choices.  Sometimes our prayers for a better relationship with a daughter or son or spouse, might ask for us to change some of our own ways, not just the other person! Sometimes its not just doing the same thing harder and harder that’s going to work - sometimes we need a new approach.  We can be blind to a lot of things.  We can be too familiar with how we’ve always done it, and be blind to  other options.  We can be blinded by our anger and not be able to ‘see’ that our anger is keeping us from what the other side is really concerned with.  We may need Jesus to open our eyes to bad theology, like the theology that told us women are cursed because of Eve sinning, or that black people came from Noah’s son Ham and were cursed.  I was taught both of those things - and they were wrong. 

 Our denomination struggles to face the reality that somehow we have failed in passing along our faith in God in a way that will keep our churches at the same level of importance in people’s lives that it has been.  It may be that many people were just going through the motions, and we are just being pruned.  It may also be that we held on to too many extraneous expressions of “church” and failed to teach the meat of what faith is.  It may be that we quit reaching out to the rest of the world, and what we need is grief and confession, a change of heart and a new pair of “glasses” to see correctly what God is asking.

I ran into the word “presbyopia” a few years back, and after resenting that it sounded like our denominational name, I had to look it up.  I know we take our name from our system of having Elders, or Presbyters. Yes, we are named after our governance.  In terms of eyes, presbyopia refers to the way elderly eyes lose their ability to quickly refocus, especially on objects close up.  It reminds me of how, as brains age, that memories of older events may be clearer than our memories of recent events.  And I wonder if that says something about our denomination’s difficulty in seeing our current situation clearly. 

I think of our hymn Amazing Grace, that includes the line, “Was blind but now I see,” in terms of spiritual blindness, and the opening of the eyes of the heart and soul to the truths of God, sometimes called an awakening, or being saved, or scales falling from the eyes as Paul had happen after he was blinded by a vision of Jesus.  “Open my eyes that I may see,” we sing in another old hymn.  We’re talking about learning to ‘see’ the vision that Jesus wants to teach us, learning to ‘see’ the realm of God, the kindom of heaven, that is all around us, as real as these chairs and pews.  Jesus tells us to lift up our eyes and see that the fields are white and ready for harvest, not just cotton ripening…  Jesus is talking about the need of hurting people who are just ready to respond to God if we would take them the word.   

Have mercy on me, Bartimaeus cried to Jesus, and make me see again.  Maybe our cry needs to be similar - have mercy on us, O Christ, and open our eyes to your work.  Have mercy on us, O God, and give us courage to live your way. Have mercy on our weakness, Have mercy on our blindness, have mercy on our lack of courage, have mercy on our lack of faith - cure us, heal us, show us the way.  Maybe Bartimaeus, blind as he was, had the right idea to stand and the side of the road and cry out to Jesus. Maybe when we do see, we need the courage to face what we see, and the wisdom to know how to then live…   AMEN

Promotions in Faith 10/21/18 Pentecost 22B

Rev. Dr. Rebecca L. Kiser

PROMOTIONS IN FAITH

Oct 21, 2018            Pentecost 22-B         Job 38:1-7  &  Mark 10:35-45

            I talked with my son Joe a few days ago; he was happy with getting promoted - he’s a hard worker, dedicated, makes the effort to be there on time and be diligent about his job.  He’s been that way since he started at Ruth’s Chris as a dishwasher several years ago - the only position they had open at the time, and he had school loans to start paying off.  He’s been promoted through the kitchen as the maker of side dishes, then moving into grilling the steaks, then getting a key to close up and do inventory - all hourly wage positions.  He’s now going on salary and taking manger training, an all-expenses paid three weeks training down the coast in CA.  He’s working his way up the ranks, earning promotions and being able to meet the new demands.  Joe has a degree in philosophy, and in his personal philosophy, any work is work, even being a dishwasher - although he had his eye on promotions and better salary all along.  But he gave the same attention to detail and work ethic at every job he’s done, and gotten noticed.  He can get along with about anybody - he’s even picking up Spanish to talk with his co-workers. That’s the way things work in the world, mostly; Joe also knows that along the way there will be jockeying and political maneuvering and things that may seem unfair. Usually, though the way it works is that we begin our careers in the more lowly positions and work our way up.  We are taught implicitly, if not explicitly, that goodness and hard work are rewarded.  Its working for Joe so far. He’s young, white, male, nice-looking, smart, well-spoken and with a good personality and no health problems - which some people think have no impact….although they eventually do. 

            Our disciples of this morning’s text seem to have assumed that there is a similar dynamic in faith - a few weeks ago, Jesus caught them talking about who would be the greatest in this new kingdom Jesus is talking about.  In today’s text they’ve realized that its the Kings who appoint people to those positions of power, so they are lobbying Jesus to be the ones seated closest to him when he comes to power - sitting on his left and right hand, a visible symbol of power and preference.  Probably appointed as the head of the most important divisions of command, lots of money and other perks.  I can understand how this would appeal to men of a virtual slave population, who don’t have that kind of upward mobility even possible in their world; and they have to watch the Roman folks rule and gain riches and make orders about their life in which they have no input. At least in this new kingdom where they’ve been loyal to Jesus from the start, they might get that kind of power and influence!!! 

            Once again, like we do, they’ve taken the way the world “works,” and mistakenly applied it to the realm of heaven.  They’re not the only ones to have done this in religious history! And in current religious life, either.  It seems such a human drive to seek better position, better success especially in outward ways; better approval, larger spheres of influence, more responsibility and the perks that go with it.  To improve ourselves and our position as measured against others, to get the A’s, to get the degrees, the promotions, the visibility. 

Not that its such a bad drive, that drive to improve, to better ourselves, to seek more skill and mastery, to hone ourselves, to seek more insight and more consistent living in the kindom of Jesus, or better service to God.  To be a better musician, or a better craftsperson, or a better teacher, to know more about the practice of law, to become a more effective counselor - or whatever our calling or profession or talent is. Then its a joy in and of itself, a drive of our inner person to fully actualize the potential of our gifts. 

Where it slips off the rails is when it gets confused with outward recognition and power over others - these tell us we’re good, which is nice, but unnecessary to our inner drive; or confused with what it means to be a good person; or how much status we have - or power we have, especially over other people.  When we think being talented makes us superior or more important; or too important to take jobs that are ‘beneath’ us, as if it a wasted of our valuable time.  When we think that financial and status reward are what its all about.  

From an early age, I wanted to be God’s best Christian ever - faithful, attentive, keeping the rules the best, knowing Scripture, knowing doctrine, being a missionary to the most difficult places, never sinning.  Which isn’t a bad thing, except it was kind of grandiose  -  and I didn’t know what I was talking about in terms of spirituality, and what makes a person more spiritual.  And I associated it with being able to ask God for anything and getting it right away, which other people would see and envy, and I would be special, and everyone would know it,....   It was rather a comedown to realize just how much of a sinner I actually am, and how I’m just as average as the next person; and that there are people way beyond my gifts of music, knowledge, counseling, insight, writing and everything else.  I wasn’t the world’s best parent, I realized in college that I was not the next great piano performer, I realized in seminary that I was not the best Greek and Hebrew scholar - I was proficient, yes, but didn’t have that inner drive to strive for any of those things. Not like the drive I had to preach and pastor, or the drive to deepen my relationship with God.  Those were where my personal inner commitment lay. And to continue learning, exploring different subjects to see how they related to spirituality and church. Not that I’m a rock star in those things now, either.

Its been hard letting go of the companion desire that everyone see and acknowledge my greatness, that I become a sought-after speaker on the lecture circuit and make lots of money as well as recognition, be the first clergywoman to do this, that or the other.  Because that was in the mix, and, if I’m brutally honest, is still being winnowed out. 

You know, there is a career path among preachers, although preachers will state that all calls are calls, all equal before God. Here’s the path for Presbyterians - preferably you are born into a Presbyterian family, get a good undergraduate degree from a well-known college - in the southeast, its Davidson.  You have a good network among your home presbytery, and go to a Presbyterian seminary - in this area, its Union in Richmond, or maybe Atlanta.  Along with your upbeat dossier, your connections help you find a good starter church - a smaller church, of course, while you learn your craft and build your network.  After a few years, you find a good Associate position in a larger church, with a well-liked Senior Pastor, where you learn the dynamics of working with larger groups and committees, and grow your network in presbytery.  You attend some training events at Presbyterian places like Montreat, if you live in this area; and eventually you get connected to a larger and more successful church that’s still a single pastor church, or you become a Senior pastor of a medium-sized church with a Christian Educator, perhaps.  The pinnacle of your pastoral career is to be head pastor of a multi-staff church, write books and make one of the larger church salaries.  This mostly works for white males, unfortunately, although some white women have made some inroads, and some Asian peoples.  If you are a female pastor, you are told that all calls are equal before God, and that its a privilege to serve God in any church call.  Although the larger church seeks more equality and representation for minority racial and gender persons, and advocates for such, if you look at this presbytery, for example, our black pastors are at black churches, we have only 1 woman as an Installed Pastor although there are 10-15 other women clergy, we are all serving as stated supply or interim or chaplains, and mostly part-time.  And clergy women all over the country and in differing denominations are paid significantly less at every level of church size. 

I hate that there’s a career path in pastoring.  I’m glad our church has a minimum salary guide - I wish they also had a ceiling on pastoral salaries, with those congregations able to pay more are assisting smaller congregations or carrying more missions.  That would go a long way in convincing me that my denomination truly believes all calls of God are equal. 

So I have had to settle this within myself, and not let the folks who think they are better pastors because to their better salaries, define who I am and what I am worth to God.  And I have had to examine myself  to root out any bias or prejudice I might harbor that says smaller churches are worth less spiritually than larger churches. Being a smaller church is not a comment from God about the worth of this congregation; and being a pastor of a smaller church says nothing about my own call and competence in the realm of heaven.  I’m not sure our call system shows that equality of worth and competence of either church or pastor, and we need to tell ourselves this truth as often as we need to hear it!

            Jesus goes on to tell his two disciples, as well as the other 10 who are disgruntled and disgusted with those two, that they don’t know what they’re asking.  The kindom of heaven that Jesus is talking about is not like earthly kindoms.  And God tells Job that there are some questions his mortal brain just can’t answer or handle.  Its not a put down, its not a one-upmanship thing to shame Job, its just a statement of fact. We are not God; and its a struggle for us to get it through our brains that spiritual things are of a different order.  I mean, look at the folks considered holy in the Scripture - they sin, they pay the consequences, they suffer, they are tricked by others, they are killed by others, they are conquered and enslaved, and Jesus himself is executed by the government, and with the approval of the religious hierarchy.  In today’s lingo, assassinated by an unnamed government agency while the church leaders breathe a sigh of relief that this upheaval is over. 

            Jesus tells his closest followers, who we would expect to be those about to enter into a shared glory and shared power in a new realm, that to be the greatest in this new kindom is  the least of all - the servant of all - the slave of all.  We who follow Jesus, follow one who did not cling to divinity and power, but set it aside to be born in finite human flesh, and to serve our salvation by laying down even that human life.  People are that important to God; and service is that integral to spirituality.  Jesus cared about us even while we knew nothing and cared even less about God; Jesus served even the people we humans consider the most vile. That, friends, is our model of faith.  To give ourselves for the world; not as a doormat with no spine, but as a spiritual offering of great love and compassion.  That’s what we are each and everyone called to do as followers of Jesus the Christ, the Messiah. God’s version of sending a superhero to conquer all was to send Jesus, born as an infant to an immigrant couple from a country where they were maligned and misused.  Growing up in a small town community and learning a craft in his dad’s shop - and meanwhile obeying them, learning his Hebrew lessons and learning the words of the Scriptures in his heart. 

            This is our Savior, this is our leader, this is our teacher.  We will not be greater than him; if we’re able, we will follow his example and learn humility and compassion from him, and serve even the lowest among us.  This is just the beginning of what he called “drinking from his cup.”  I can look at my past, now, and see that the rough parts of my life,in bringing me lower and deflating my sense of specialness, made me more human, made me know I’m in the same boat, the same sinner, the same prejudices, the same contrary drives, the same ability to deceive myself.   They brought me to see my need for God in a more balanced and real way, and to be grateful and thankful for where I am and who I am.  I think its all made me a nicer and more approachable person, knocked off some of the rough edges, and made me care more for people’s troubles.  I thought I could get here by sheer will power, but actually its been from struggle and loss.  I get the feeling that this is somewhat more what Jesus meant than asking to be seated on his right or left hand.  

            AMEN.

Security 10/14/18 Pentecost 21B

Rev. Dr. Rebecca L. Kiser

SECURITY

Oct 14, 2018          Pentecost 21-B          Mark 10:17-31

            Oh, there are so many sermon possibilities in this Markan text!  And I’ve preached a good many of them - I love where it says, “Jesus, looking at him, loved him.”  Jesus loved this young man who could say out loud that he had kept all the commandments from his youth.  What dedication he had to the ways of Torah!  To God’s service!  What a strong backbone he must have had, to keep all the commandments in life so far.  I kind of identify with him, because I worked hard from 6 or 7 years old on, to follow everything I was taught - with a few lies here and there, and a good bit of anger off and on - but I was a rule-follower, and believed it was an offering to God.  So - been there, done that mostly. 

            So Jesus tells this young wealthy man that he lacked one thing - and that he should sell all he had, give to the poor and come follow me.  This man in the story went away sorrowful -  Simon and Garfunkel would say he was, “slip-slidin’ away.”  What made him leave sorrowfully?  That he wanted to let it all go and follow, but felt obligated to his family?  That he had worked out in his own mind that he could serve God best with his wealth?  That he liked making generous gestures that his wealth let him do?  That he liked the distance his wealth gave him - he could donate money without getting personally involved?  That his wealth kept him from the panic of insecurity, and he needed that security to function? 

            Then Jesus says that thing about a camel getting through the eye of a needle, which is a really ridiculously funny image, even with a big needle.  People used to talk about a certain gate in Jerusalem’s wall that was colloquially called ‘the eye of the needle.’  The story was that to get through this gate, the camel had to have all his burdens removed, and crawl through crouching.  That makes a good comparison to the rich guy needing to let go all his riches to follow Jesus.  But you could always take your camel to another gate, and archaeologists haven’t found any proof of such a gate or tradition, so maybe Jesus is just giving us an outlandish picture of how difficult it is for a rich person to make the kindom of God.  After all, the disciples do respond as if no one can make it, then….and Jesus has to assure them that with God, even seemingly impossible things are actually possible.

            Most preachers don’t take these words literally, and urge parishioners to give away all their money to follow Jesus.  I’ve read that rather out-there and cultish, suspect groups require their followers to turn over their wealth in order to join.  But in our churches we talk about tithing, and ways to use the gift of being well-off, if we are given that gift, for good.  And preachers like nice salaries, too - if we wanted to take a vow of poverty, we’d have joined a different group.  Most preachers never expect to be rich, although like everyone else, we’d like to feel like we can pay our bills, take care of our families, and have some nice things.

            Besides any other interpretations, this section of Mark is one of the many times Jesus speaks about money - Jesus actually speaks more about our connections to our finances than he does about anything else.  Our attitudes to money reveal our hearts like nothing else - where your treasure is, Jesus says, is also where your heart is.  So I’m going to talk about money today - and share with you all the attitudes in a few congregations I’ve served.  A common mistake these congregations have made is in carrying over into the church how we treat money in our personal lives or our business lives - and that is a mistake, because Christ’s church is different from those, and the place of money is Christ's church reflects not the culture of earth but the kindom of heaven.   And getting them mixed up makes for problems.  The goals of being the church are different - not wealth, not preparing for retirement or setting up an empire - the goals of church are serving the community in God’s name - not just ourselves, but all those whom God loves and sent Jesus to save.

            My first call was in a northern presbytery, and I think it was a good introduction to keeping the goals of mission and ministry in the front of the congregations’ life.  LArger churches in the presbytery gave towards a fund that financially supported the smaller - if those smaller churches did their homework about identifying their mission, goals to get there, and honestly looked at their own people’s ability to give.  It was a good discipline so that the congregations receiving assistance kept their focus on more than survival.  The presbytery was pretty smart that way.  My five-church parish were very up-front and transparent about their collection of tithes and use of their monies, and could state their Christ-centered mission.

My other calls haven’t always been as clear or clean.  My first Interim I did was with a church enclosed by a declining neighborhood, whose remaining members were the last of the professionals of the older generation.  They remembered when the church was full and Sunday School overflowed, which hadn’t been the real situation in years.  They skimped on paying for long-distance phone service, and had me using a complicated calling card in order to order materials or talk to General Assembly folks. At the same time, they paid a company to keep their books and paid a member to play  with their dwindling capital.  They were in major denial about the state of their future and their finances;  I quickly realized that calling a full-time pastor again would never happen without a renewed vision and growth, which I prayed for diligently with folks who never really got through their denial.  They were unwilling to change anything, or even consider changing anything, so they went forward with a part-time, certified lay pastor and may still be hanging on in their large, mostly unused building -  I don’t know. 

The next congregation I want to talk about was still a good size and able to both support a pastor, care for their building, and do mission in their presbytery and locally.  A good many years back, a wealthy spinster had left her holdings to the congregation in the form of a trust, stating that the income from the trust become a stream of income for the church to be used for “normal ministry.” Initially the Session designated that new money to a split between international, national and local mission giving.  But maintenance of the fund quickly fell into the hands of people of power who liked to play with money, and who decided that, rather than give the income to the session, as per the trust’s instructions, they would invest the income and grow the fund.  Then they quickly took to themselves the power to decide who got ANY money from the trust, making the Session jump through hoops to justify their project as ‘normal ministry,’ and so enjoyed pulling strings in their small pond.  A smart pastor some 30 years down the road, after some of these power brokers died, made the entire Session into trustees of the fund, which worked for a while; but the temptation to use the money for power reasserted itself when that pastor retired.  When I arrived, everyone was afraid to touch any of the money, and it sat there growing and not supporting the church in any meaningful way.  I took on confronting this attitude as a part of Interim work, paving the way for a new Installed pastor, but instead was bullied and abused by the power brokers, whose view of church money was no longer scriptural or mission-oriented, but that of a place they could act out their control. 

The next congregation I’ll talk about had a huge problem with transparency and boundaries around their monies.  When I arrived, a staff person often counted the offering by herself when the appointed Ruling Elder was absent; and her spouse, who wasn’t a member, kept the books. They did have a separate treasurer who paid the bills, but he was getting forgetful and often got confused and made mistakes, although he’d been very good earlier.  He asked to be replaced, then wouldn’t quit.  Meanwhile, the staff person’s husband was making the church’s budget up by himself, as no one wanted to get into the budget issues.  And when the session tried to make the budget more transparent, after a nasty annual meeting, the staff member, her spouse and the treasurer, who were all friends, refused to cooperate.  The issue was that salaries, other than the pastor’s which had to be voted on annually, were all lumped together, so we could not determine anyone’s actual salary, including the staff member.  The congregation had a split opinion about the staff person and all the pies she had a finger in, and she was also friends with the executive presbyter.  She and her allies organized a secret meeting of the Session lamed me for all the problems, and forced me out in 6 mo, with the collusion of the presbytery exec.  This congregation just about caused me to quit the ministry. 

Another congregation I was involved in took money raised in benevolent giving for a staff person’s time of need, made the family apply for it and prove need, then took over the remainder of the money for a balloon payment on a new construction.  Yet in this same church, one Ruling Elder annually made sure the church totally tithed its budget to international, national and local mission - over and above their benevolent giving to presbytery. So it was a mix of attitudes working there.

The final congregation I want to tell you took a giant risk with their financial security in order to follow what they discerned God was asking them to do.  This well-educated upper middle class group, decided that other than a fund to pay expenses for the first 2 months of the year, they would zero-out their money every December, and give out the remaining offerings to various benevolent church causes.  They would trust in the giving of committed members, knowing folks would also come through for any unexpected repairs.  They were still going strong when I left the presbytery.  I was surprised yet pleased that a congregation would take such a risky step; it was an experiment motivated by their vision of the purposes of church.  They wanted their gifts out there working, trusting that God would provide if their need increased. 

I’m pretty clear about what the work of the Church of Jesus Christ is - our Book of Order and our confessions of faith spell it out for us.  The church is to promote and preserve the worship of God by believers; we are to nurture each other in our faith and lives; we are to spread the good news of Jesus to those who haven’t heard, and nurture them into the community where they can grow and thrive and serve; and we are to do good those in need, both in our communities and around the world, seeking justice for the oppressed, feeding the hungry and ministering to the sick, honoring all people, and living lives that exhibit the new vision of the kindom of God in this world.  Our collections are to support this vision and the paid workers, and nothing else. 

Obviously we olks in the congregations are all sinners still growing and learning to do all these high ideals, and our own quirks and issues get played out as we relate to one another and work at these goals together, and especially when it involves money.  Truly our finances reveal a lot about our values and the faith of our heart!  The church of Christ was never meant to be just a place of inward comfort, but also a place of challenge and of looking outward for service.  The church of Christ was never meant to be just a place of taking care of ourselves, but a place of sacrificial care for the world, just as Christ left off the privileges of being Divine and came here with us, and gave his life for us.  The church of Christ was never meant to be a place of high finance, although being smart planners for the future involves a wise use of moneys.  The church of Christ was never meant to be a place of business, interested only in its continued and enhanced life, but rather engaged in giving itself away. The church of Christ was never meant to be a well-loved community fixture of remote holiness, but a place where struggling folks reach out to help other struggling folks know God.

The church exists because of its mission, the mission of Christ.  If the church is not doing mission, it has ceased to be the church. 

Indiantown Pres has a unique situation among congregations I have served.  Our congregation lost a good many members a few years ago, and no longer can match our giving with our budget.  However, I have never before served a church whose faith ancestors left the future so ready for a rainy day.  Shortage of money is not what threatens us.  We have the ability to invest in our own future mission and ministry, if we so choose.  We have the ability to pay a full-time, seminary-trained pastor to lead us in reaching out to that future, and not just at the presbytery minimum, either - we have the ability to pay an experienced pastor a good salary. We have the ability to keep our structures up and safe.  We have the ability to do mission in this community - to look at the needs of our community, and find ways to address those needs. 

What I see, after a year here, is that we want to thrive and move into the future, but don’t yet have a vision to guide us.  There is still grieving over the recent split, which can make anyone numb and unable to think ahead.  I hear us pinning our hopes on a new pastor to bring new people in, while still hoping things won’t have to change too much from our historic ways. 

Friends, what we need to pray for is a vision for mission to take hold of us; a desire to serve God by serving this community God has placed us in.  A fire needs to start in OUR hearts, and the God’s Spirit will move us into the directions we need to go.  We need to give ourselves away for Christ, whether that results in new people or not - mission is the purpose of the church, and God adds to us those God wants to add.  We have a wonderful property and buildings, and we have financial security left to us from the folks before us, who looked to the future beyond their time.  We now need to look into a future  beyond our time.  We have the, what can I call it, the challenge, of living at a cusp time of Christ’s church, a time of transition - we can sit back and moan about the changes, and let things wind down and out;

or we can jump in and risk to see what new thing God wants to do with us.  I know what my vote would be for.  May God stir in our hearts and give us the strength and vision to do a new thing.  AMEN.  

Human and Messy 9/30/18 Pentecost 19B

Rev. Dr. Rebecca L. Kiser

HUMAN AND MESSY

       Sept. 30, 2018         Pentecost 19-B Esther 7:1-10, 9:20-22

I was at Fred’s this week, looking for a new scale for the bathroom, as my old one had begun spouting strange numbers.  A couple of well-dressed women had come in about the same time, and they were in front of me checking out, with a cart full of school supplies - like over 30 composition books, 10 or more pencil holders, and such.  As I’ve gotten older, I’ve been turning into my mom, who talked to anybody and everybody, so I gave in to my curiosity and said something like, “Wow! A lot of school supplies!” That started the conversation, and I learned they were from the local business (House of Raybern), collecting supplies for Hemingway Elementary as a project.  They’d bought out all the nearby WalMarts and such, and now were wiping out the school supplies from everyone else they could think of. I first thought it might be a church project, as I’ve known some churches to do this in their communities. Nope - just good, caring, community-minded people in a local business.

I’m glad for these needed projects to be done, even if they don’t come from our church or any other church.  I’m glad the Red Cross works at emergency shelters and arranges to pick up those who can’t get to the shelter on their own.  I’m glad for some other denominational church to do weekend bookbags of foods, or Shoes for Santa, or any other project to benefit the community, and especially the needy in the community.  I wish someone had thought to do voter registration in time for the Oct 7 deadline. I’m glad the local Bahai group works with troubled teens, and Muslim communities send tons of bottled water to Flint, MI.  I’m glad environmental groups and even pagan groups advocate for preserving wetlands and forests, reducing carbon footprints and global warming gasses. I’m glad for the Nature Conservancy and how it is saving needed wetlands and habitat.

God uses all sorts of people for good.  The common thread I heard in the lectionary readings for today were the unexpected human persons that God was using to advocate and agitate for God’s will to be done.  Jesus, in the reading from Mark, kinda scolds his disciples when they get territorial with the casting out of demons. “Those people over there aren’t part of our group, so tell them to stop!”  “No,” says Jesus. “They are doing good in my name.”

Back in late high school, when I was beginning to see the cracks in the fundamentalism of my home church, I was confused about how there could be so many other Christian denominations who not only did things differently from us, but also believed different things about the Bible we all used.  How could we all be Christians? How could we each be right? It was important to me to find and follow the one right way to believe in God, as if it were a math problem where the answers were always clear and definite. I wanted life and belief defined once and for all. The pastor I talked to, in my distress, quoted me these verses from Mark, “He who is not against us is for us,” and I was shocked.  How can Jesus say this? I was stymied.

I’ve had to mellow a lot since that time, and realize that most Christ-followers who are sincere and seeking, are doing the best we can to hear the voice of God’s Spirit,... and none of us, me included, hear it perfectly.  None of us, me included, are so perfect that the Word of God comes to us in a vacuum - we all have early wounds, inadequate ways we’ve coped in the past, prejudices, biases, cultural habits, etc etc….we hear God through who we are,...the Spirit, yes, is always nudging us towards greater wholeness, but we aren’t there yet.  

The book of Esther has been a problem for me, as the story works within a stereotype of women I have resisted my whole life.  Actually, some early believers debated the book because it does not contain the name of God anywhere; yet the story of Esther saving the Jewish people is the root of the Holy Day Purim in Jewish history and celebration.  The text we read comes towards the end of the story. The book opens with King Ahasuerus getting rid of his Queen Vashti because she doesn’t obey him one time when he wants to show her off to other important folks. So he makes her not the queen.  Then he holds a national beauty contest to find a new gorgeous queen, and Esther pleases him the most. Actually, he narrows it down to a few, and they each get a night with him first. Yuck. So much emphasis on physical beauty and pleasing the man. So much emphasis on obedience.  King Ahasuerus states that a man should rule in his own home. How patriarchal. I take offence with that whole context.

Anyway, Esther becomes Queen, and gains even more favor when her uncle gets word of a coup attempt and warns the king through her.  Then this other important person, Haman, gets angry at the uncle, extends it to all Jews, and suckers the King into making a pronouncement that his chiefs in all the corners of the realm can kill ALL their Jews on a certain day. Esther’s uncle gets the word to her that perhaps she has gained her position as Queen for such a day as this, and she needs to act.  Esther first calls for her community to fast and pray with her for 3 days, and buoyed with that support, she dares the King’s presence to invite him and this Haman guy to a banquet. They are all pleased and everything, and she invites them a second time. And when the happy King says, “Ask what you want, even to half my kingdom,” she asks for her life and the life of her people. No one has known she was a Jew, evidently.  The King is angered that someone would dare threaten his lovely Queen, and Haman begs for his life, even throwing himself on Esther on her couch, where the King walks in and finds him assaulting her. Haman and family are all killed, the Jews are given the right to fight back on that certain day, and everything turn out okay.

I admit that I am uncomfortable with the whole story, with its emphasis on beauty and  seduction to win the day. So Esther is an odd figure of female heroism to me...but that was her culture.  And she saved her people. To me she is an unlikely person, using stereotypical female means I don’t really approve of, yet she does it for God’s chosen people.  There are just so many inappropriate sexual things in the story - that the King can throw out Queen Vashti for not being obedient to him - its not so much disobeying the King per se, as it is disobeying what any husband should expect.  And Esther becomes Queen through winning a beauty contest and pleasing the King. And she uses that attraction to get the king to do what she wants. And Haman sexually assaults her in his anger. Its all just messy!

Yes.  Its all human and messy, and somehow God works in the midst of it all, or in spite of it all.  Power, sexuality, influence, scheming - those are all facets of being human - as we’ve seen all this week on the news - - and actually just about any week --  and both in our national centers of power like DC, and in our local centers of power. Those kinds of influences play out every day in human interactions, yet somehow God works in and through even unexpected people to raise awareness, to deepen compassion, to seek for justice, to find people to speak up for justice, to bring basic human decency for those who are powerless,...in other words, to do good.  

I don’t like messy - I like straight-forwardness, transparency, honesty, clear guidelines to be followed; I like the most deserving to win, the one who follows the rules to do well, the person wronged to be compensated.  Unfortunately for me, the longer I’ve lived, the more messiness I’ve had to deal with and live with.

I had a boss I really liked when I worked for the Presbytery of Eastern VA.  I clicked with him, and did some good work there, because he saw my abilities and encouraged me.  One day we were getting ready to go to a meeting, and he opens the cover on his truck bed to put something in there, and that truck bed is immaculately clean, with containers holding various implements - so clean and neat, so organized. I said something about, “Who has such an organized truck, Harry? Its almost too neat.”  He answered, “Well, everything else in life is so chaotic, I have to have neatness where I can.” Good answer - I had to laugh. I SO got it.

God knows who we humans are and what we humans are like when God loves us and calls us.  God called imperfect and messy people all through the Scripture stories, from way back with Noah, with Abraham and Sarah, with the conniver Jacob whose name was changed to Israel, with Peter who denied Jesus three times and Thomas who doubted, with Paul who had been killing Christians, and so on and so on.  We have this gift of forgiveness and love in clay pots, Paul wrote. The containers aren’t necessarily great, although we are called and used for the good news to continue going out. I guarantee that any great believer that we look up to has clay feet. Good and evil are mixed up in us even as we intend our best; God sorts it out, and accomplishes what God wants to accomplish.

This week in the news has shown that in spades, in what has been revealed in suffering and goodness mixed.  I’ve seen so much anger in my friends, who defend one person and vilify the other. Judgement has been poured out hot and angry.  Its been a mess. I kinda got into it with one friend who was ranting some very ugly stuff on Facebook, and tried to speak gently - as you can imagine, I then got the rants and ugliness directed at me. People on various “sides” want their truth verified, and it sometimes comes down to who can yell the loudest and be the nastiest - which, my friends, is not the behavior of believers.  I hear that, for some of my friends, their world, which is closer to the world of Esther, is threatened - their assumptions and beliefs about how things work is challenged by the refusal of others to play out their part. That is painful, and I get it. At the same time, people who have been wounded by the world of Esther are calling to be heard and for change. Its not an easy time, and nobody seems to want to listen to each other.

Friday, I posted a call for fasting and prayer on my social media outlets.  Actually, my inspiration was this text from Esther, where she called her community to fast and pray before she acts.  To my surprise and actually my delight, this messy story spoke to me. I feel the need to pray - not for my side to win, but rather for all who are hurting: for wisdom, for peace and listening between people - especially for those of us who follow Christ, who act in the name of Jesus even though we come out in different places.  I am praying for guidance, and for the words of the healing and comforting Spirit to be heard. I am praying for good to be done and not evil. This is a departure for me, as usually I am angry when women are not heard - this time, somehow, I am moved by the hurt on all sides. I think it happened when I read that this man’s daughter wanted to pray for the woman….. her tender heart could lead us adults, too. I wish there could be a way for this tense situation to become a win/win, a reconciling, a growing for our country.  I can pray for that, even as we sit in the mess. Thanks be to God who loves us and works with us through it all. AMEN.