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I've described my faith life as like one of those funnel gadgets, being raised in the extremely narrow end of fundamentalism, then moving into the gradually widening scope of the evangelical, through orthodox Reformed theology, and now probably more progressive. My journey is bringing me to become more human, more incarnated and more a citizen of the Kindom of God in the world God loves.

Monday, March 5, 2018

Where is My Passion for God Leading? 3/4/18 Lent 3B


Where is My Passion for God Leading?
Rev. Dr. Rebecca L. Kiser
March 4, 2018        Lent 3B         John 2: 13-22

The sermon today is going to be rather participatory – I haven’t done one like this in a long time, and I hope y’all are up for experimenting along with me.  In these Lenten sermons, I’ve been following the lectionary texts for the season of Lent, and finding that I can also impart some models of pursuing our own personal journeys with Christ at home.  This morning’s brief and unusual glimpse of Jesus finds him in the main Jerusalem Temple in an astounding physical act – he radically confronts the usual order.  This story works well for an interesting practice of what some of my teachers called the “Ignatian” method of prayer, named after St. Ignatius. 
In background, we need to know that worshippers paid their Temple tax with certain kinds of coins that differed from the one used in the Roman market – so they often had to exchange one kind for the right kind.  This evidently created an opportunity for some unscrupulous exchange rates.  And different animals were required for different kinds of offerings and sacrifices, as laid down in the books of the Law.  Often folks had to purchase their doves, for example, when they arrived at Temple.  This evidently created an opportunity for some price gouging. 
Jesus, in his zeal for the Temple, which in Judaism houses the very presence of God in the holy of holies, takes great offence at these unjust practices, and physically makes a whip - and then makes a mess, overturning tables and all.  Jesus isn’t usually like this – yes, his teachings are pretty volatile, but his actions are usually more peaceful as he travels around to preach and heal.  In this story, Jesus shows civil disobedience and visible civic action.
I don’t see this as inconsistent with the rest of the stories about Jesus – he was obviously passionate about the things of God, and a very thoughtful and insightful person; he is willing to speak truth to power, as we call it nowadays; he told almost subversive stories very publically, and engaged in question and answer tests with religious leaders.  You’ll see in my following dialogue that Jesus isn’t just acting off the cuff, either, but has considered and planned what he’s doing.
In this Ignatian way of study and prayer, we start with them assurance that God’s Spirit speaks the Word we need to hear through the texts. Then put ourselves into the story with all our senses, and using our active imagination, become one of the participants, one of those who sees this happen.  No, we don’t write new scripture – it’s a way of engaging our inner self, our unconscious.  I find that my own needs and questions get hooked, and sometimes I get some insights that haven’t been in the front of my mind.  I’ve found it can go some interesting ways, and not always then same, even with the same passages.  As in all forms of study and prayer, the end is prayer and /or conviction, offered to God.  I’ll describe my experience and my dialogue with Jesus as an example -  and then what I feel I’ve heard for my journey.
So - - get comfortable, friends, and even close your eyes if that helps your visualization.  Imagine yourself in the 1st century, in the large city of Jerusalem, surrounded by kinsfolk, Jews from all over, who have come for the celebration of Passover.  Smell the smells - of people who have traveled, and their animals; of the pungent smoke from sacrifices being made on the altar.  Look around at the colors, the various clothing from different districts; recognize the great stone columns and walls of the Temple. Hear how noisy it is! People all around, animals pushing in different directions, people calling out to one another.  Over to the right, some tables are set up where we can exchange our money for Temple coins, and purchase our offering animals.  From past experience, we know that they have us over a barrel and it will cost us - we sigh in resignation – we need the Temple coinage, so they can get away with an exorbitant exchange rate…..and we’ve traveled too far to bring our own animals.  Too bad, that’s just the way it always is.  We push towards the tables like many others.
Suddenly we realize that something different is happening – we crane our heads to see - we hear the clank of coins hitting the stone floor, and tables cracking as they fall over, and animal cries as they fall or work free.  Everyone is crying out and pushing! Just then the head of the person in front of us moves, and we see a man with a bunch of cords tied together whipping and flipping through the tables, chasing the vendors off, and crying loudly about them making his father’s house into a den of thieves.  People near us are saying, “That’s Jesus! The one that’s been healing people, and feeding crowds somehow!”  Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, we hear sibilants of his name all around us. 
I grow afraid that soldiers will come, and afraid that I’ll be crushed by the crowds, so I push for the doorways like others are doing.  I’ve heard of Jesus of Nazareth of course – everyone’s been talking about what he’s done when aunt so-and-so went to see him at some event or another.  No one mentioned anything like this, though!  He’s going to get the authorities riled up with this; I’m suddenly afraid of what the results will be….for him and for us.

I get a chance to talk to Jesus as he’s slipping away:
Me:      Jesus, this is so not like you – not that I’ve not wished someone would do something about these gougers.
Jesus:   It was time for a provocative act.
Me:      That scares me for you! And for myself, if I’m honest, for liking it – its gonna get a reaction, Jesus.
Jesus: Yeah, I know. Yet God’s house is not a place for human greed and injustice to God’s worshippers.
Me:      They’re gonna get you for messing with the status quo here…
Jesus:   Yeah -I know.
Me:      Jesus, I sometimes feel like doing something similar.  I get so angry at the crassness of some of your followers, the judgmentalism, the racism, the closed doors, the lack of passion for you….and the hatred they say is in your name!  And I get angry at others of your followers for largely ignoring you while just saying the words.  People are being driven away from your message because of the actions of some of your followers, Jesus.  It all weighs on my heart.  However, if I pulled a stunt like this, I’d just get maligned and judged, and the waves of complacency would close over my head again.    I just don’t know how to make things better.
Jesus:   3 things you already know, Becky – Anger isn’t the way to go.  And you just engender more resistance when you push.  And finally, you know, the church is actually God’s job, with you being faithful yourself, of course.
Me:      But YOU did it!!
Jesus:   Did you see me as angry?  I’m actually deeply grieved, and pained.  It was hard to make myself do this; I know the risks.  This is all leading where it needs to go for my work.
Me:      I feel passion about your church, too, Jesus.  Although I realize that I don’t – and can’t  - understand all the things that have to work together.  I just feel like I’m doing nothing, and watching your churches collapse.  I want to DO something, make a difference, help bring in your realm.  Doesn’t God want me to DO something? 
Jesus:   Thank you, Becky – I love you, too. 
Me:      I know I get all reactive and want to rail, or wail, or just quit.
Jesus:   Yeah, I know.
Me:      You’re not giving me any answers or directions.
Jesus:   Nope, I’m not.  There’s a lot already in the Scriptures, Bec – keep working on that, keep listening, keep watching where God’s working. Be willing, be honest with yourself. Try out the ideas that ‘come to you’ –could be that’s my Spirit!   Be faithful, and trust God. 
Me:      Yeah, yeah,….. that’s all so frustrating - I hate waiting. I want something to happen.
Jesus:   Yeah, I know.  (He smiles, rubs my head and messes up my hair, then walks on.)

God has never really given me clear and precise directions, which frustrates me.  I’ve told God before that if I could just hear a directive call, I’d give all my energy to accomplish it.  But God seems to know how much I want to depend on external authority, and keeps making me work on hearing that inner voice that’s authentic to me.  And God knows there’s so much more to work on in following Christ that I already know to do anyway. 
So – what is the outcome of this particular study and prayer encounter?  I think it’s a good insight that Jesus was grieved and pained rather than reactively angry.  And I heard a purposefulness in his choosing of this act – which is out of true zeal for God - to move closer towards his death, which he knows and keeps telling the disciples is coming.  I’ll sit with those concepts and ponder what it must have been like for Jesus, as we move towards Holy Week. 
On a personal level, its actually comforting to me that Jesus seems to like me okay, despite my angers and reactivity.  Jesus knows my heart, my love, my passion, my own zeal. 
If we do think of prayer as conversational, as bringing our very self to God and talking things, this Ignatian method of entering the stories already in Scripture can go pretty deep.  Know that the Spirit of God is using our own subconscious, that this is active imagination, and these are things we already know at some level that God is simply bringing up. Its not “hearing voices” or receiving directives from God to do weird things.  If it seems to take you in ways that run counter to what we know from Scripture, or seems to lead to something counter to faith, you might want to talk to someone about it.  If it goes somewhere scary, just tell God its too scary and although you love God, this is enough for now.  You’re in control. 
Well, I’ve let you in on some of my issues and some of how I talk with God.  If this intrigues you, try it out.  If it seems weird, don’t.  Not every way that people have studied Scripture and prayed work for every believer.  The important thing is for us each to be pursing our faith journey and seeking to grow.  I hope this has been helpful to your journeys.  AMEN.

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