Rev. Dr. Rebecca L. Kiser
Love Is Not Just for Weddings
2/4/2019 Epiphany 4C 1 Cor 13:1-13
I’m sure these are very familiar words from 1
Corinthians. Probably you’ve heard them
at weddings, too. There’s something
moving about them, uplifting, inspiring, when we think about love. Here it is February, with Valentine’s Day
coming up and all the decorations and candy in the stores. I actually wore my Valentine’s day socks on
Friday, to mark the month. (Actually, my
blue socks were in the wash…)
I’m sorry I have to break the dream with reality….however,
far from being about falling in love or married love, this passage is actually
written to a Christian community to describe what THEIR CONGREGATIONAL LIFE
should be like and could be like. It is
about the kind of love WE BELIEVERS ARE SUPPOSED TO HAVE for everybody, the
kind of love we live in daily and hourly.
Everyday love, not special love; everyday love of those who now live in
the realm of Christ. The way we act all the
time, in other words; the way we treat all those we encounter.
We might notice that this kind of love isn’t necessarily a
feeling, either - its more a description of actions. Its isn’t the light-headed, balmy feeling
that everything’s right with everybody and everything is beautiful. Its how we act., what we do, how we are.
Here are the words of Scripture: Patient Kind
Not
envious Not boastful
Not
arrogant Not rude
Not
irritable Not resentful
Rejoices
in the truth Doesn’t rejoice in wrongs
Bears
all things Believes all things
Hopes
all things Endures all things
Never
ends….
Since we are walking in the realm of God here on earth, as
those who trust in Christ for
forgiveness, for new life, ….these words are to describe how we are with one
another - and, with this mindset, we also approach all others. These are our descriptive adjectives.
Of course, most of us have trouble acting this way towards
our own love and our own family….And we usually cut ourselves some slack with
our attitudes and behaviors towards the rest of the people we know or meet,
especially the mean ones, or the ones who are rude to us first, or the ones who
wrong us. Most of us fall short of
having our attitudes so totally transformed by the Spirit of Christ.
But we shouldn’t stop praying or trying.
I once did a program on the desert mothers and fathers, Abbas and Ammas, who interested me
already. These were believers starting
in the 3rd century whose spirituality and spiritual seeking drove them singly
into the deserts in Egypt, where they could pray and seek God, fight with their
inner thoughts and emotions, and live a simple life of prayer. I guess I was interested because it attracted
me - yet even with no people to irritate them or interrupt their prayer, there
were still enough inner things to overcome in their search for relationship
with Christ. Eventually this kind of
religious life became the source of the monastic life yet in a cloister
together. New seekers who came to this
life were encouraged to apprentice themselves to a more experienced hermit. Usually the older religious person would not
make the apprentice the servant, but would, say, draw water for them, cook for
them, do the basic care things for them.
In that way, they taught the younger seeker how to be - not with
demands, but with care. When the younger
person would say, ‘no, I need to serve you’, that was a turning point.
That fascinated me - the one more mature in the faith taught
the less mature one through the example of service and love, rather than
demanding obedience or service for themselves.
Its the same model as Jesus kneeling to wash the feet of his
followers. Its the same model as God
coming among us to show us the way, and instead of blowing us up in anger at
the treatment we gave him, taking the path
of sacrifice and death at our hands. For
which love, the Scripture says, God raised him up in new life and made Christ
over all.
I read something this past week that that intrigued me -
this writer that I admire made a contrast between worshipping Jesus and
following Jesus. I had to stop and think
about it, because I thought worshipping God and Jesus was the point, you
know...we do call these meetings a worship service, after all. Gradually I realized his point: worshipping
Jesus can make us see Jesus as unapproachable, set apart, not like us, too
different - ‘of course he could do all those things because he was God’, unlike
us, we might muse. ‘We’ll never be like
that - how could God expect us to be like that?
But we’ll praise Jesus for sure.’
Not that that attitude is totally wrong…..BUT, BUT, Jesus actually asked
us to follow him, imitate him, be one with him, be transformed by the Spirit
into the same ways as Jesus lived. Early
believers were called Followers of the WAY
- the Way of Christ. Christ is to
be our teacher and our pattern - the call is to be LIKE Jesus, not just to say,
“Oh, Jesus is so great.”
These words in 1 Corinthians 13 describe the love we will
have as followers of the way of Christ.
You might have noticed that I often use the words “Christ-followers” in
place of “Christian.” To me, “Christ-followers”
describes more who we are, ie disciples, followers, learners from Christ’s
teaching and model. “Christian” somehow
sounds to me more like just belief of some kind of doctrine or behavior; an
empty belief and not necessarily the
acts of living it. It also helps me
differentiate myself from the people calling themselves Christians who do
un-Christly things like make the news for their hate or weirdnesses - and not
their love. Which may not be so loving
of me, but its tricky - I feel ashamed to hear the word “Christian” used in
those ways. I don’t want the folks
outside the church to think we’re all like that, and Christianity is meant to
be like that. I am leery of being identified with them.
Part of being the “Church” is
demonstrating the life of the realm of God, illustrating just how Christ has
transformed us, and showing others the kind of relationships our spirituality
of following Christ has led us to. “See how they love one another,” people said
about the early believers, the followers of the Way. Accepting of the way of Christ transformed
them in visible, observable ways.
Has it done that for us? Are we different than we were, as we follow
Christ? Is our quick temper being
transformed? Not magically, of course; not without effort and prayer, and
concern for our tempers and striking out.
Is our envy of the good things our sisters and brothers might receive
being transformed? Again, its not a
magical disappearance - in my experience, these changes come when we realize
that we ARE envious, and we take steps to not act on it, then we pray about it
and wrestle in prayer with God about what’s going on inside us that we get
envious in the first place. Usually
there are tears, and realizations, and a gradual healing that happens deep inside. And one day we find that the envy quiets
down, and loses its grip on us.
Sometimes our KINDNESS might be how we were raised, or it may be that we
begin to listen to our own thoughts and words, and ask ourself if that was
kind; we begin to become aware of the possibility of kindness. Maybe our appreciation of what someone is
feeling, because we have felt how difficult that is ourselves, makes us more
kind to their situation. Maybe at first
we say the words without feeling it, and gradually Christ’s love transforms us
into actually feeling that kindness.
Without reflection on the words and
attributes, we may not realize how arrogant we seem to others; we may not
realize how we have inner permission to hit somebody back who hits us. Without reflection, we may not realize how we
take our place in a hierarchy for granted - or even that there IS a hierarchy,
a place of privilege.
February is also Black History Month
in our country, helping us to raise the accomplishments of people of color that
were overlooked in history, because, well, they weren’t white. This is good for people of color, to raise
self-esteem in a needed way. Its also
good for us white folk, who have mainly just overlooked people of color, either
on purpose or unconsciously.
We
have a difficult history with people of color in our country - not necessarily
more in the south than the north, either.
I’ve found a lot of ignorance and avoidance in the north, too. Mainly, it seems to me that white people who
take seriously the value of all people, have worked to educate themselves and
sensitize themselves to the issues of race in our country, who are the ones who
are making a difference. Those who take
the trouble to listen, whose ears are open to hear another person’s experience,
who make the effort to understand, these are the ones who are taking the WAY of
Jesus deeply into themselves.
I want to say a quick word about how
these words about ‘bears all things’ and ‘believes all things’ and ‘love never
ends’ have been used by abusive people, and even pastors, to tell women, or men
as the case may be, that God wants them to stay in abusive relationships and
believe their abusers’ promises to never do it again. These attributes are not meant to turn us
into doormats or whipping posts. Much
damage is done to a person who experiences abuse, emotional as well as
physical. I would never interpret these verses to mean that an a person should
stay in an abusive situation.
Its as we heal from our own hurts and recover damaged parts
of ourselves that we are better able to learn the ways to Christ. While we can learn the outer actions even
while still healing, I’ve found that the more whole I am, the more well I am,
the more I have the ability to love, to be kind, to not envy, to not want revenge
and the other words. We have to be
somewhat conscious of ourselves to be able to even admit faults and accept that
we need to be transformed. In a way, its
God’s healing of us that brings us to the point of our hearts being softened
and our life transformed. It takes a big
person to be able to live according to the words of 1 Corinthians 13.
This is the call to us as Christ-followers, and a church -
that our relationship with God, with Christ, with the Spirit, be a primary
focus; the urge to heal, to be whole, to
be forgiven and restored br a driving force in our lives. The good news first has to be good news to
us, before we can share that good news, and show it in our transformed living. Kindness and turning the other cheek aren’t
the behaviors we learn as we grow up.
God’s love is something we have to experience first hand before we can
tell others about it.
This morning, we are all urged by God, to look at ourselves
through the lens of these words, and
listen for where the Spirit is telling us that transformation is still
needed. This morning, we ask ourselves
just what our own relationship with God is, how this good news invites us
further into our own healing and transformation. Nurturing our relationship to God is the primary thing, the priority of our life. Only from this encounter with God can the
church be the church, can the church exhibit the life and love God means for
all people, and invite others in to this forgiven and restored living. AMEN.
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